April 3, 2022

Grace Under Meltdowns

How To Stay Calm When Our Kids Are In Chaos

Guest Post by Elena Foley, founder and creator of FluffyWeight

“I wish I could have handled it better.”

“I’m disappointed in myself.”

“I just wish it wasn’t like this.”

“My nerves are shot for the day.”

How often as a parent or caregiver have you felt this way when your kid is melting down? 

We crave pleasant, peaceful moments of genuine connection with our children. That joy is what sustains us through the rollercoaster of parenting. Sometimes, those moments can feel as elusive as catching lightning in a bottle.

When our kids are scared, tired, sensory overloaded, or anxious, that’s when big meltdowns happen. This is especially true if we have a child who is neurodiverse, anxious, or just highly sensitive. Meltdowns last longer, run deeper, and crop up more often than we ever thought possible. We feel helpless and don’t know how to find our way back to peace.

What might happen if we gave ourselves a little grace in the chaos? 

Sometimes, we need to let go of what we thought would happen. Instead of imagining what this moment would be if it weren’t for a meltdown, give yourself a little grace and accept it for what it is. When we are in these difficult moments, it’s an opportunity to rethink, reset and try something different. 

Here are a few things to try:

  • A new idea - if you usually stay close to comfort your child, try giving both of you space to recover if it is safe to do so.
  • Different words - do you usually say the same phrases or use the same tone? Mix it up.
  • A new tool or product - experiment with apps, fidgets, or other sensory soothing tools and see what happens.

By staying calm and experimenting with new tools and strategies, eventually, you will find something that makes a difference. It won’t always work, but you find a different kind of joy when it does. It’s the feeling of excitement when you discover over and over again just how effective and capable of a parent you are.  

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